invite the girlfriend

The most primal attraction to another human being is not a choice. I will stand by this statement to my death (or until science strongly supports the opposite Aviation Engineering BEng.

That being said, there are many times in which you find yourself attracted to someone who isn’t right. This could be someone who is sub-par to your standards for whatever reason, or someone who is just unavailable. It happens to the best of us. We find ourselves being attracted to the cute guy or lady, and come to find after we are already twice past head-over-heels, that they are in a relationship. Or, for some of us, we are well-aware that this person is taken, but that doesn’t stop us from being attracted to them. It only really stops us [sometimes] from making a move dermes.

I’ve experienced all of the above before, and it usually just sucks. The hardest part for me is knowing what is acceptable and unacceptable as a friend once you find out this person is taken.

I always find myself second-guessing my actions. Should I invite him over by himself, or should I make sure and invite the girlfriend? Is it acceptable to hug him goodbye like the rest of my friends? Is what I’m doing going to be interpreted wrong? Personally, I don’t care Diamond Water. Personally, if you have a problem with our friendship, get over it. Personally, I don’t treat people differently just because of their relationship status.

thanksgiving beauty

jeff and i had a wonderful day of hiking and exploring in acadia national park.

there was next to no one around and we were able to do some stress free exploring.

the sun was bright and the shadows were long.

the day was too short, but darkness comes early these days.

a quick stop home for coffee, turkey and cold stuffing

then over to see ben, meghan, and joey for a while.

its been a good day.

i am thankful

notebooks

i love to write stuff in notebooks.

i have a notebook for bible study

scrapbooking ideas,

journalingcloset storage

a notebook i keep with my computer to write interesting stuff down in and to keep all of my passwords in

a notebook to write my food journal in

a notebook to write political, moral ramblings.  i occassionally write letters to the newspaper.  mostly in support of homeschooling and other conservative issues registration of company in Hong Kong.

i have a notebook that i write stories in (i’ve written a few childrens stories so far–all set in my neighborhood here on the wink)

i think i am addicted to writing because it helps me keep all of my thoughts and stuff straight and it helps me get things done. ( i make lists and lists and lists亞洲知識管理學院)

yes. my notebooks make me happy

i loved paper!

today is a dreary late fall day.  there is now some snow on the ground   it snow about an inch or so, but then sleet, freezing rain and now just rain and its quite foggy out there.

quiet day…cooked my husbands absolutely favorite dish: gizzards and hearts with onions and gravy slow cooked in the crock pot with mixed veggies and egg noodles.  i won’t be sharing.  it’s something he loves, not me!

thought i’d share this photo

i guess i could look up its exact name but i’m just not that interested.  it grows all over the mountaintops here. it makes a really soft cushion.  my husband calls it mountain coral because thats what it looks like.  i like that name.

煩惱著些什麽

有時候爲一些小事就心情不好,那種無確切理由的心情不好。自己知道爲什麽心情不好,但還無法與人言說那種不值得提及的小事。

蘇打綠的《喜歡寂寞》那首歌的專輯,名字叫《你在煩惱著些什麽》。

我就在想,我在煩惱著些什麽。

但我發現那些東西很瑣碎,遍及好多方面。也許這就是生活吧,一直處在制造煩惱和解決煩惱的永不間斷的過程中。

我不喜歡膽小的人。我不喜歡依賴別人的人。我不喜歡人雲亦雲的人。我不喜歡過分在乎自己的人也不喜歡過分在乎別人的人。

我喜歡像風一樣的人,內心獨立,骨子裏有一種流浪的情懷。在路上,永遠動蕩,顛簸,無所畏懼。

忘了誰曾說過,一個人的一生應該這樣,童年有遊戲的快樂,青年有流浪的經曆,老年有滿滿的回憶。

我相信唯有這樣,當一切沈靜之時,剩下的才是飽滿生動的人生。

我喜歡不起

有一天夜裏聽了一個電台,一個安靜但有青春氣息的男聲,他說,我喜歡你你知道嗎。

我想,關于這個問題,或許你不知道吧。

所以我,還是自己在路上走著,感受到一點點湧上來的莫名的失落。

你知道嗎,就是那種莫名的空蕩蕩的失落感,然後在心髒四溢開來,蔓延全身。

縱然人來人往,我還是會站在人來人往的街頭想起你。那種想念不太濃郁,只是淡淡的。

我看見好多人,看見好多張臉,可惜都不是你的。如果遇見,那麽,是好久不見,還是不如不見?

現在是什麽日子,什麽季節,不重要。我只知道,我又想起了你一次。

不知道那算不算喜歡,如果算,有多少。

如果算,我真的承擔不了它的分量。

我喜歡不起。

I’m done this year

There’s a lot that has happened.. some of it isn’t mine to share. But just know that I feel weights off my shoulders, so does D. We’re still together, promise.

School is pressing, but I’m trying my best.

D and I are doing well, he didn’t get anything for my birthday.. except to take me to see the midnight 3D premiere of Hotel Transylvania at the last moment and to say that he’ll take me to see Breaking Dawn Part 2 in about a month. But that’s not okay.. I haven’t received an actual gift since my 17th nor jewelry since our first year together…

almost 4 years ago. I know he thinks I’m worth it but he doesn’t show it.. And that hurts. Instead he spent his big check on his bills (which he should have) but the last 100-200 dollars was spent on drugs, cigarettes, gas and a $30 yo-yo for himself. He indulged on himself for my birthday. Wow. Ouch.

I can’t tell him that I’m upset. It won’t fix anything and he’ll feel even worse. We spent the midnight hour into my birthday talking about him breaking down, him upset over work and life and how he didn’t get me anything. And me upset, without telling him, that once again I was painstakingly right about not seeing anything for my birthday for the second year in a row.

I can’t even remember the last Christmas or Valentine’s Day he got me something. Am I really not that important as to be shown I am? One year he got all his friends and his family a card for Christmas, but NOTHING for me. I brush it off in front of him, when inside I’m crying and my heart is hurting. But how do you tell your boyfriend of almost 5 years that he’s hurting you every holiday. I don’t look forward to them, I spoil him with stuff and I get nothing in return. I’m done this year.