Little Truths about the Friend Zone

1. The friend zone exists
So many people like to exclaim, “there is no such thing as a friend zone, you are just being delusional or a scaredy-cat.” But, in actuality, the dreaded zone of being forever thought of as a friend or like a sibling is very real. It is a sad place to be (sorry), and causes a lot of bitterness and resentment to those who get placed there repeatedly.

2. You put yourself in the friend zone
If you do not try to win their affection, you will never know if it could have been yours. The fear of rejection or coming on too strongly is what puts a lot of people in the friend zone without them realizing.

Look, people love it when a confident suitor approaches them and says, respectfully, “How about we go on a date sometime?” Confidence does not always equal jerkiness. But timidity and indecision does equal the friend zone.

3. You might just be a question away
Really, there is this 10 word question that you probably have not asked yet. Once you say it, though, magic happens. Usually. Anyway, it goes like this: “Would you like to go on a date with me?” I know, it is scary, right? What if the apple of your eye says no? What if that ruins all sense of emotional intimacy you have with this person?

But here is the thing: if you get rejected, nothing is written in the rule books of human relationships that says, “Thou hath be rejected, and thus exiled from the proximity of the rejector.”

Besides, a true friend will not get weirded out by an honest question. In fact, they might be relieved to get such a straightforward inquiry, especially if they go for more confident people. So be confident, and give it a try.

4. Friend-zoning happens to everyone
It does not matter who you are and where you come from. People psychologically place others in the friend zone all the time, unthinkingly. Beyond the biochemistry of attraction, there are personal values and dreams that come into consideration.

While you might be upset for being called a friend, the individual might be thinking that having you in the friend zone is better than losing you altogether due to life obligations and complications.

TAVIA TAKES A HAND

It was a few days later that derma veil the War Cry arrived in the mail, for Dorothy. The young girl knew that the paper was widely circulated, and likewise that it was circulated among people who might know Tom Moran. Men of his trade, traveling about the country, often drop into Salvation Army meetings for very loneliness, if nothing more.

“Oh, I just hope he’ll see it, and learn about how Celia wants him.” said Dorothy, clasping her hands. “The poor little thing——”

“What do you s’pose Miss Olaine would say if she saw this notice?” interposed Tavia, after reading the blue-penciled paragraph.

“Miss Olaine?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t imagine why you say that,” observed Dorothy, puzzled.

“Didn’t I tell you how startled she was when she read Tom Moran’s name on that postal card?”

142 “But nonsense, Tavia!” cried Dorothy. “That was because she was reminded of the awful fire in which she came so near to losing her life.”

“How do you know?” snapped Tavia.

“But—my dear——”

“I tell you I believe she knows Tom Moran. Of course she would remember him, when he played the hero in that fire.”

“It’s ridiculous for you to talk that way, Tavia,” declared Dorothy. “You always do go flying off on a tangent——”

“Then I get a free ride. Don’t worry. I am welcome to my own ‘idee’; am I not, Doro?”

“I suppose you are.”

“Then I stick to it,” said Tavia, with a toss of her head. “Olaine was startled because you were making inquiries about Tom Moran. Haven’t I been watching her—‘hout of me heagle heye,’ as the Cockney villain says in the play——”

“You and your plays!” sniffed Dorothy. “Your romantic nature is working overtime again. I do wish you would make it behave.”

But Tavia secretly held to her own belief. She, and not Dorothy, had observed Miss Olaine’s emotion when she came across the postal card in the mail. Pooh! merely theremainder of that Rector Street School fire would not make the teacher look like that. You couldn’t fool Tavia—at least, so she said in her heart.

143 She secured the copy of the Salvation Army paper when Dorothy was not near, and carried it into the recitation room in her blouse. Miss Olaine was more than usually severe that morning, and perhaps Tavia was thus encouraged to “spring” her little surprise, as she called it.

Cop Some Tude!

Do you express your gratitude enough? I know I don’t. And I don’t mean whether you write your thank-you Hong Kong city tour notes on time. Do you take some time every day to feel fully grateful for what you receive? Think of it as writing a thank-you note to the universe (or God, or your higher power) for looking out for you.

Thanksgiving obviously creates the perfect opportunity to cop some ‘tude. It’s easy to feel grateful at this time of year. So I’m not going to talk about family holiday traditions-you can get that out of any magazine in the supermarket checkout line.

I am going to encourage you to take a few minutes every day to be grateful. Being grateful sets the stage for receiving more of what you want. Being grateful reenex facial also lets the universe know you are appreciative of what comes your way-even when you feel like you’ve worked really hard for it, and the universe didn’t really help at all.

Sound a bit too esoteric for you? Let’s bring it down to earth. Here are some of the ‘tude-building activities that work for me.

1. My gratitude practice Neo skin lab includes taking time each day to write down five things I’m grateful for that day. Some days I go over the limit; other days two of my items are “breathing out” and “breathing in”. I learned this practice many years ago, when I read Simple Abundance (http://www.simpleabundance.com) by Sarah Ban Breathnach. This list takes 2 minutes each day.

and Bird-of-Gold

As the first light of the Midsummer Day came over the world the two who were fleeing before him were speaking of Zabulun the Enchanter. “That we may baffle him,” one said.

“And what if we cannot baffle him this time?” said the other.

“Then he will take me and make me do terrible services for him”—it was Eean who said this—“and, worse than all the services he will make me do, he will separate us.”

[Pg 148]

“No, no,” said Bird-of-Gold. “If he takes us this time, I shall do everything to make myself useful to the Enchanter. I have thought out ways in which I can serve him. He will not separate us and we will be together still.”

“O, Bird-of-Gold,” said Eean, “I am fearful lest he should slay you for taking the Magic Mirror off the Tower of Babylon. But I have a sword and he shall not harm you.”

“I shall escape him,” Bird-of-Gold said, “and as he followed you and me across the world, so I shall follow him and you, and we shall never be apart.”