Maybe you’re not good enough for everybody,
but you’ll always be the best for the one who deserves you.
You can’t pronounce beautiful
without BE YOU
Its been terribly busy here. I do not wish to focus on how I can’t keep up:) because there are joys and if I’m not on guard… The joys get swallowed by the sorrows. I’m not trying to be unrealistic by not focusing on the negative. Rather proactive!
Today I ventured into the Christian book store. I could easily spend an entire day there if I had the time:) it’s so peaceful there… And the wealth of knowledge everywhere…
The reason for my visit there is because I invited my sister in law over for coffee tomorrow morning and her birthday was a month ago… And since we both took turns having sick kids we haven’t seen each other since MY birthday which was a week before hers:)
I ha so much fun choosing a gift for her that I thought might bless her. … Lift her spirits… Make her feel loved and cared about. I love getting a gift where you can tell that the person who gave it to you actually thought of you:)
Anyways I got her a special pretty mug to sip hot tea while she reads a devotional. I got the devotional for myself as well.
I’m here, writing to an invisible audience. The people that know us best and know our love before this say to stay, give him a chance and let him try to fix it if I’ll allow it. A girl that knows nothing about us told me to leave. D has a friend that I can’t stand, because it’s a girl, detached from this mess and she has a boyfriendsteel storage cabinets.
I don’t want to tell her because then she’ll swoop in, fix him and yet that still isn’t fixing us, in fact I think it’d tear us apart more. He needs to get away from all of these people and just focus on souly us for once. Like I have for the past two years. I’ve put everything I have into him and I company registration hong kong.
I spend more time doting on him then he has on me. Now don’t get me wrongwaterproof iphone case. I love the way he holds me and the love he says and shows, but when tallied out, I’m the big winner losing at the same time. So as I sit here, waiting for a non-descriptive text that will never come, I think back through the hurt and it’s still as raw as ever. I don’t know how to forgive him for this. It’s history repeating itself and I know how it ends. He says it’s different. But how do I know it’s different for us Claire Hsu.
How do I know to trust his actions when his words have bled into those actions and stained them red. I’m not stable enough for this. My relationship was the one good thing in my life. The one thing I could rely on and nowwomen clothing styles 2013… it’s not there like it used to be. How do I fix that?
There’s a lot that has happened.. some of it isn’t mine to share. But just know that I feel weights off my shoulders, so does D. We’re still together, promise.
School is pressing, but I’m trying my best.
D and I are doing well, he didn’t get anything for my birthday.. except to take me to see the midnight 3D premiere of Hotel Transylvania at the last moment and to say that he’ll take me to see Breaking Dawn Part 2 in about a month. But that’s not okay.. I haven’t received an actual gift since my 17th nor jewelry since our first year together…
almost 4 years ago. I know he thinks I’m worth it but he doesn’t show it.. And that hurts. Instead he spent his big check on his bills (which he should have) but the last 100-200 dollars was spent on drugs, cigarettes, gas and a $30 yo-yo for himself. He indulged on himself for my birthday. Wow. Ouch.
I can’t tell him that I’m upset. It won’t fix anything and he’ll feel even worse. We spent the midnight hour into my birthday talking about him breaking down, him upset over work and life and how he didn’t get me anything. And me upset, without telling him, that once again I was painstakingly right about not seeing anything for my birthday for the second year in a row.
I can’t even remember the last Christmas or Valentine’s Day he got me something. Am I really not that important as to be shown I am? One year he got all his friends and his family a card for Christmas, but NOTHING for me. I brush it off in front of him, when inside I’m crying and my heart is hurting. But how do you tell your boyfriend of almost 5 years that he’s hurting you every holiday. I don’t look forward to them, I spoil him with stuff and I get nothing in return. I’m done this year.